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WEEKEND NOTES

October 17, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I know it sounds like a broken record, but I’m amazed at what Jim Harbaugh is doing in San Francisco. I knew he was a good coach and would turn things around, but 5-1 is beyond my expectations….

They’re not explosive and probably not good enough to win a road playoff game in Green Bay, but in a few weeks I might be changing my mind….

The 49ers have the best front seven in the NFL, evidenced by their not giving up a rushing touchdown the entire season. They also haven’t allowed an opposing running back to go for more than 65 yards and held their opponents #1 back to less than three yards per carry….

And where did inside LB NaVorro Bowman come from? He looks as good as Patrick Willis and gives San Francisco the best pair of ILB’s in the NFL….

On offense, they have arguably the best offensive line in the league and rushed for 203 yards against the vaunted Lions defensive front….

Lou Holtz says teams who win the battle of the line of scrimmage win 99% of the time, and if that’s true Harbaugh and the 49ers are in good shape….

It all boils down to Alex Smith continuing to play well; because in the playoffs your quarterback is going to have to make plays….

So far, so good; but it’s still hard to imagine Smith leading a team to the Super Bowl….

Harbaugh has done an incredible job nurturing Alex; bringing him along slowly to build his confidence and then giving him more responsibility. The results have been phenominal and hopefully the Super Bowl trophy will come back to where it belongs in a year or two….

As for the post-game incident between Harbaugh and Lions coach Jim Schwartz, I love that kind of leadership and passion from my head coach….

Schwartz has been ticking off everyone in the NFL with his fist pumping, cursing and yelling at opposing players, so it’s funny he’d take offense to a post-game handshake and slap on the back….

What goes around comes around….

A week or so ago, I received a press release about Dan Wheldon, asking if I wanted him as a guest on my show at 750 The Game in Portland. I quickly replied I’d love to have the Indy 500 Champion on and was told he’d be coming on sometime this week….

So when I heard he’d been killed in an Indy car race in Las Vegas over the weekend, I was shocked and saddened….

He seemed like an interesting guy, a good family man and tremendous driver….

Earlier this year, he was dropped by his team and without a ride for the Indianapolis 500; but at the last second was picked up by another team, found a sponsor and found himself in the race….

And not only did he compete, he wound up in Victory Lane; celebrating and drinking from a bottle of milk….

What a shame to hear the news and I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to meet him….

I don’t know anything about racing, but a lot of people who do are criticizing the Indy Car series and Jimmie Johnson says they should quit racing on oval tracks….

Evidently, these high banked tracks are built for NASCAR; while drivers are protected by heavy roofs, a cage and roll bar….

The Indy cars are lighter and not built for NASCAR tracks. Also, the critics say 34 cars was too big a field and put all the drivers at risk….

I’m certainly the last person to have an opinion on any of this, but it seems to make sense….

So Jamie McCourt has agreed to take $130M settlement in her divorce from Frank and let him have the team. Question: If it was this easy, why go through all the dramatics and pile up legal fees of $20M? Couldn;t have this been agree to a year ago, without the lawyers?….

Or did Jamie want Frank to jump through hoops, spend a fortune on lawyers and give him an ulcer?….

Judging by how simple this agreement sounds, it seems the lovely Jamie got what she wanted; to make a fool out of her husband and drain as much money as possible….

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NOTES ON A SCORECARD

October 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

If I’m an NBA owner, I officially dig in my heels, stick to giving players 47% of Basketball Related Income and wait for them to come crawling back….

It’s easy for the Kobe Bryants and LeBron James of the world to state publicly they’re “union guys” and “prepared to sit out the season,” but let’s see what happens when DeAndre Jordan Devin Ebanks begin missing checks….

It’s billionaires vs. millionaires and in almost every case the billionaire wins….

The owners brought up the idea of a 50/50 split, which was quickly rejected by the players, so it’s time to withdraw the offer and hardball the players….

I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying that’s what I’d do if I owned a team….

After a month or so, the players will realize they’re going broke, throw up the white flag and sign a deal they hate….

The owners have the players over a barrel and should make no further compromise. It would be bad business to do otherwise….

Enjoyed the Republican debate last night, especially Herman Cain promoting his “9-9-9″ plan while the rest of them danced, dodged, rambled and refused to offer any solutions….

When asked by Cain to list any of his 59-point plan to turn around the economy, Mitt Romney couldn’t list one; instead he stumbled, mumbled, rambled and refused to answer the question….

Did they ever make a Mannequin 2? If not, I have the perfect guy for the lead….Rick Perry….

Like Romney, Perry is a stumbling, bumbling, back pedaling, lying fool; the difference is Romney is slick and articulate, even though he’s lying through his teeth….

Perry is so dull I have diffuculty staying awake to hear his lies….

Agree or disagree with Herman Cain, at least he’s the only one with a plan and stands by his convictions….

Wouldn’t it be great to see Cain run against Barack Obama in 2012? Having two black men running for the mort powerful position in the world would shut up all those hypocrites in Europe who call us backward, uneducated, racist cowboys….

How many of them have elected a black President?….

From what I hear, Saturday night’s Light Heavyweight championship fight between Bernard Hopkins and Chad Dawson at Staples is going to be a financial disaster….

The word is the promoters are giving away tickets to paper the house, so the HBO cameras won’t show an embarrassing crowd….

Neither fighter in from L.A., neither has a large fan base here and neither is Latino; ensuring no ticket sales. Why the promoters decided to put the fight in L.A. is a mystery….

Word is less than 2,000 tickets have been sold and the promoters might have to use the old trick of placing every fan on one side of the arena; the side which will be on camera….

On top of everything else, the fight looks to be a dreadful bore…

It should be a 12-Round snoozefest with almost nobody in attendance…

Prediction? Dawson by split decision in a fight Hopkins clearly wins….

Nobody in the boxing establishment likes Bernard and if it’s close he’ll get screwed; as he did against Jermain Taylor, Joe Calzaghe and Jean Pascal….

The problem for Bernard is nobody will want to see a rematch….

This fight should have been held in Canada, where they love boxing and would have drawn a sell out crowd….

What a shocker, the NCAA closing its investigation of Auburn and Cam Newton by declaring the school did nothing wrong in their recruitment of Newton and there will be no penalties….

Had this been USC, Oregon or any Pac-12 school, the penalties would have been strict and severe….

Not only did Auburn recruit a kid who was arrested for robbery while at Florida, Newton’s father apparently had his son up for sale to the highest bidder….

Four Auburn players, in an interview with HBO, admitted they receiver improper benefits; yet the NCAA will take no action on this, either….

Need any further evidence the BCS/SEC controls college football, looks out for only themselves and will look the other way wen major violations occur?….

USC gets a two-year bowl ban for Reggie Bush’s parents getting cash to rent an expensive house and Auburn gets nothing for the Newton scandal?….

Hopefully some enterprising reporter from HBO or a major network digs into this and exposes for BSC/SEC for what they are; a corrupt, hypoctitical crime family with a monopoly on college football….

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ANOTHER ASS WHIPPING

October 10, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Back when I was a regular in Las Vegas while covering boxing, I got to know many professional gamblers and handicappers; all of whom told me you neded to hit 60% of your plays to make a living….

Anything less than that and the vig would eat away at your profits….

They also advised me not to try and make a living at sports gambling, because 90% of the players lost their ass….

It was good advice and over the years I’ve limited my gambling to small wagers for fun and always made sure the rent was paid….

The bottom line is most people lose money and a 60% success rate is rare….

Which is why I’m shocked at what’s going on with my NFL pick’em contest with sexy and talented Chicago attorney Tamara Holder….

A few weeks ago, the Fox News legal analyst challenged me to a handicapping contest, promising to kick my ass and embarrass me in front of my audience….

So far she’s backed up her words….

In Week 1, Tamara went 10-6 against the spread, an impressve 63%; a number that any Vegas professional would take…

After her glorious win, Holder assured me it was “Beginner’s luck” and I would certainly beat her in Week 2….

Knowing a set up when I see one, I disregarded her words and prepared even harder for our Week 2 battle….

Certainly she couldn’t hit 63% two weeks in a row and I would bounce back with an impressive win….

It turns out I was right, she couldn’t hit 63% two weeks in a row; because she hit an obscene 77%….

You read that right, 77%. Tamara went 10-3 against the number and whipped my ass again….

If that isn’t scary enough, since last Sunday afternoon she’s gone 16-4 ATS, an ungodly 80%.

Her totals for the two weeks? 20-9, which translates to 69%….

Beginner’s luck, my ass….

There are no words to describe this; other than embarrassing, humbling and disheartening. I do find solace, however, that Tamara is winning at a record pace and nobody on earth could match her….

After two weeks, I’m down by six games and in danger of getting blown out before this thing gets started. Hell, if I don’t gain some ground this week I might have to go to the Neiman Marcus site, buy her the shoes she wants and be done with it….

Time to roll up my sleeves….

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NOTES ON A SCORECARD

October 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Just a few weeks ago, I was hoping my San Francisco 49ers would lose all their games, draft Andrew Luck and then turn the franchise around. After all, Alex Smith was never going to be any good, so why not lose them all, win the “Suck for Luck” sweepstakes and then start winning Super Bowls….

A month later, the 49ers sit at 4-1 after a 48-3 thrashing of the Bucs, lead the NFC West and look to be a serious contender….

Forget “Suck for Luck,” let’s talk Super Bowl….

If not for a Week 2 giveaway against the Cowboys, San Francisco would be 5-0 and on their way to a dream season….

At 4-1, however, it’s still an incredible start and exceeded all my expectatons….

As for Smith, Jim Harbaugh has done a magnificent job; trusting him a little more each week to throw the ball downfield and make good decisions….

Evidently it was Mike Singletary’s fault that Smith played so poorly and all he needed was a better system and a coach who believed in him. Harbaugh announced Alex was his starter right after he was named the head coach and obviously knew what he was doing….

On Sunday, Smith went 11/19 for 170 yards, with three TD’s and no interceptions. On the season, Alex is among the leaders in QB rating and thrown for seven TD’s and only one INT….

I never thought I’d say this, but Alex Smith is on the way to becoming a good NFL quarterback….

Typical of the Harbaugh philosophy, the 49ers dominated the line of scrimmage; rushing for 213 yards while allowing only 86….

The 49ers have taken on the personality of their coach; tough, hard nosed, intense and a winner….

Going into the season, I wrote the 49ers had a Super Bowl-caliber defense and special teams; but lacked the QB and offense necessary to advance in the playoffs….

But now that Smith is playing with confidence and the offensive line is dominating opponents, I might have change my mind about the team not be good enough to get to the Super Bowl….

I still can’t imagine the 49ers winning a playoff game on at Green Bay in December, but who knows? Looking at the NFC, who is better than the Niners?….

I’ll give you the Packers, but other than them San Francisco seems capable of beating anyone; at home or on the road….

And if the 49ers get home field throughout the playoffs, which is a possibility considering their weak division, who knows?….

Okay, I have to stop; I’m getting too far ahead of myself….

But a guy can dream, can’t he?….

Yes, I was very critical of Al Davis over the years and took joy in the Raiders demise to the worst franchise in all of professional sports….

He was certainly an easy target; because he could be petty, vindictive, pig headed and cruel….

But he could also be generous and warm, as evidenced by all the old Raiders he kept on the payroll. I’ve read many stories about Davis hearing about a former player going through hard times and sending him a monthly check to get by….

Yes, the game had passed him by and the Raiders had become the laughingstock of the NFL; but in his prime there was not a better football man who ever lived….

I’d describe him as the Red Auerbach of the NFL; because of his background as a successful coach, talent evaluator, General Manager, Commissioner and owner….

There has never been an owner with his knowledge of football and there will never will be again….

In the 1960′s, ’70′s and ’80′s, he almost never missed on a draft pick, free agent signing or trade. Being a lifelong anti-Raider, it infuriated me that Davis always made good decisions and always had a great team….

Over the years his stubborness and pig headedness got the best of him and the once great Raiders sunk into the abyss. His inexplicable handling of the Marcus Allen situation ruined a team which was close to winning a championship; all because Al had some vendetta against Marcus….

Now that he’s gone, maybe Allen will finally write that tell-all book he’s been talking about for 15 years….

It always killed me to say this, but I’ve always admitted Al Davis, at his best, was the best football mind in NFL history. Guys he picked up off the scrap heap; like Jim Plunkett, Ted Hendricks, George Blanda, Lyle Alzado, Rod Martin, Daryl Lamonica, John Matuszak and countless others,became All-Pros and Super Bowl champions….

He had an uncanny knack of knowing who would be a great fit for the Raiders and watched the waiver wire like a hawk. He had a scout’s knowledge of every player in the NFL and as soon as a player he liked was released, he pounced and turned the guy into an All-Pro….

Being a 49ers fan I hated it, but always held a grudging respect for Davis and his organization….

When he got older and slowed down, his decisions were terrible and his refusal to hire a GM was suicidal for the franchise….

He’d become incapable of running the franchise once his health deteriorated and his team went from best to worst….

But again, when he was healthy and his mind was right, there was no one better….

Now that’s he’s gone, it’s going to difficult to despise the Raiders and revel in their defeats. My whole reason for disliking them was Davis and the criminal thugs known as Raider Nation….

If they sell to a new owner, hire a GM and become like everyone else, what’s to dislike?….

You know something, I’m going to miss him….

Even though I don’t like the Raiders, I couldn’t help but cheer for them yesterday in their emotional win against the Texans. With the face of the franchise gone, the team played hard, fought from behind and held on for a 25-20 win….

I was driving back from Chinook Winds Casino, listening to the game and enjoying the commentary of Greg Papa and Tom Flores. With the Texans inside the 10 and threatening to win in the final seconds, the Raiders intercepted Matt Schaub and won the game….

Moments later, as Papa and Flores described coach Hue Jackson dropping to his knees and crying, Papa got emotional and began to cry as he described the scene. When it was Flores’ turn, he too wept….

Without question, it was the most emotional, real and raw broadcast I’ve ever heard….

I’m not a Raiders fan, but felt a tear in my as well as I heard the broadcast….

R.I.P. Al Davis….

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THURSDAY COLUMN

October 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Anyone else notice the look on Kris Humphries face these days? He’s gone from smiling boy toy to a guy with a “What the hell have I gotten myself into?” look on his face….

I know it was exciting to become an overnight media star and become Mr. Kim Kardashian, but I can’t imagine what he’s going through now….

A few nights at the dinner table with Kim, Kourtney, Khloe and especially the mom, Chris, must have him racing to find a divorce attorney….

How Bruce Jenner has stuck around this mess for so many years is inexplicable….

Judging by all the plastic surgery he’s had, it seems the Kardashian girls have driven him insane….

Jenner has gone from a rich, young, handsome Olympic hero to an elderly woman….

He looks like Phyllis Diller….

He’s not Bruce Jenner anymore and the only explanation is living in that insane asylum for so many years….

I guess the excruciating pain of endless plastic surgery beats having to deal with those attention whores….

Anyone else love “Pan Am” as much as me?….

The new series, which airs on Sunday nights, is a look back at the glory years of airline travel, the 1960′s….

Back then the girls were called stewardesses, not flight attendants, and all of them were sexy, flirty and made air travel a joy….

The stewies were recruited out of modeling schools, wore short skirts and made everyone on the flight feel like the most important Pan Am passenger….

Once every couple of weeks, the girls were marched into an office at the airport; where they stepped on a scale and weighed in….

Not only did Pan Am hire world class beauties to work the flights, they also demanded first class service….

The meals were delicious, the alcohol flowed and passengers were allowed to smoke….

Ah, those were the days….

And all the while the nubile stewardesses smiled, flirted and made sure everyone on the flight would become long term Pan Am customers….

S***, are those days long gone….

I was thinking about the last time I saw a pretty girl working a flight and I think it was 1987….

Nowadays the flight attendants are old, overweight, nasty and rude….

Now that I think of it, I think the last time I received friendly, courteous service on a flight was also in 1987….

Flying has gone from an absolute pleasue to something to be dreaded….

Feminists and the politically correct have ruined the flight industry….

Hopefully some enterprising, young entrepreneur will watch “Pan Am” and decide to bring back the glory days….

If someone brought back the knockout stewardess with the short skirts and a pretty smile, they’d make a fortune….

I think this would be a great opportunity for a female business person….

Instead of always threatening to sue and being angry all the time; a young, smart woman will hopefully see this opportunity and make a fortune….

Hire pretty young girls, insist they stay in shape, keep a smile on their face and make air travel a pleasure again….

There will be customers breaking down the doors….

Just EMailed Tamara Holder, the sexy and brilliant Chicago attorney, the point spreads for this weekend’s NFL games….

After her decisive victory in Week 1, she sent me a text apologing for “kicking my ass” and claimed her win was “beginner’s luck.”….

On the surface it was a nice gesture, but why do I get the feeling the hotshot lawyer is setting me up?….

The truth is she knows football, delivered a beat down and looking to do it again Friday on my show….

It’s a brilliant strategy, straight out of the court room, but I can’t allow her to get into my head….

I don’t believe for a second she was lucky and will be ready this Friday….

I’d better be, because my listeners and staff have turned on me like an army of Benedict Arnolds….

Almost all of the calls and Emails are pulling for her to win, so I’ll have to buy her an expensive pair of shoes….

In less than a week, Portland has turned into Team Tamara….

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AN ASS KICKING AND SORTING OUT THE BCS

October 3, 2011 By Leave a Comment

About a week ago, I responded to a tweet posted by noted attorney and Fox News legal expert Tamara Holder; in which she said she was excited about football and an expert at picking NFL games….
When I replied that I was also good at picking against the spread, she challenged me to an NFL pick’em contest; promising she would “kick my ass.”….
Well, the results are in from Week 1 and here are they are: Tamara 10-6, Dave 8-8….
As promised, the sexy, smart and NFL savvy Holder kicked my ass….
As Joe Namath once said, “It ain’t bragging if you can back it up.”….
Yes, I’m behind after the first week, but hopefully I’ll come back strong this Friday and deliver an ass whipping of my own….
We also made a personal wager based on who wins.
If Tamara is victorious I buy her a new pair of expensive shoes….
And If I win?….
Well, she is a gourmet cook….
Holder hit 63% against the spread, which is a number most Las Vegas professionals can’t match….
And if that isn’t impressive enough, she went 6-1 ATS on the late Sunday games and Monday Night Football, a ridiculous 86%….
For the first time in my life, I’m speechless….
If this she keeps this up, I’m dead meat; but I’m counting on Tamara coming down to earth in Week 2….
If not, she’ll be walking the streets of Chicago, trying big cases and appearing on Fox News in a beautiful, new pair of shoes; courtesy of a pigeon named Dave Smith….
Looking at the rankings, I’ve come to the conclusion that Boise St, Stanford and Oregon have very little chance of playing in the BCS Championship game….
Oregon is the biggest longshot, based on their losing to LSU, being ranked #9 and having a lot of teams ahead of them….
As for Boise St, it seems even an undefeated season won’t be enough; due to their strength of schedule….
The last team I mentioned, Stanford, will also need help; even if they go undefeated….
With Oklahoma, LSU, Alabama and Wisconsin ahead of them, the Cardinal are going to need at least two of them to lose….
Not likely….
Looking at Wisconsin’s schedule, it looks like they’ll go undefeated; with only Michigan St, Ohio St, Illinois and Penn St. standing in their way….
Oklahoma is the most likely to lose; with games against Oklahoma St, Baylor, Texas A&M, Texas and Kansas St remaining….
As for LSU and Alabama, they face off in Tuscaloosa on November 2, with the winner probably going undefeated and meeting Wisconsin in the championship game….
Are they the two best teams? Who knows? But under the current ridiculous system that’s likely going to be the result….

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